


Two Kisses

by Mira



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-13
Updated: 2006-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-19 15:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/202128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mira/pseuds/Mira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But he'd flown far enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Kisses

  
_we come to understand  
slowly  
our lips utter  
stones_   


Rodney pulled back, his lips clinging to John's for a heartbeat and then they were apart. They stared at each other. Rodney watched as John's face closed, sealing away his thoughts and feelings. John did that so well.

Rodney sighed and stood up. Nothing to say, he thought, aware of the irony that he, who had so many words and so many of them for John, had run out. He stared down, his shoulders tense, his throat constricted, his breath painful.

The sun beat on his back, and a bead of sweat rolled down his temple. Like a tear, he thought. He tapped his fingers against his thigh, and took a deep, shaky breath.

He walked away.

  
_we sleep  
on the  
floor  
moving  
among stars_   


Rodney knew there was a ZPM waiting for them on this world. He could feel it pulsing through him, bringing him to life the way it would Atlantis. He lay in his sleeping bag staring up at the night sky. How could he sleep when something so vital to their very existence throbbed in time with his heart, with his breath, with the firing of his synapses?

Not far away, John lay, also staring up. Rodney could see the reflections of the stars above them glistening in John's eyes. He lay still and silent, unblinking, looking into this strange and frightening galaxy. Once, they would have lain together, side by side, and John's arm would have brushed his, their heads together, as they named the stars above them.

He looked away, back into the night. I name you _silent_ , he thought; looking at another star, he thought: I name you _cold_. And you, so far away, I name _alone_.

  
_when the tall grass agrees  
it nods  
& when the tall grass  
disagrees  
it nods_   


The days were turning cooler on this world with no name. Rodney had taken a jumper to the mainland, ostensibly to map the coastline, but Elizabeth had known that he needed to get away. He did map for miles up the coast, away from the Athosian settlement, away from Atlantis and all the excitement there, away from everyone he knew in this galaxy.

But he'd flown far enough. He wasn't a great pilot, but he was good enough to be allowed out by himself, and he settled the jumper into a field of wild grasses heavy with seed. A form of pregnancy, he thought as he walked through them, the seeds scattering as his thighs brushed against them. A light wind tossed their heads, pushing them down so their darker green stems were revealed; when they rose, the gold pattern rolled over the grassland like a wave over the sea that surrounded Atlantis.

He slowed to a stop and closed his eyes, letting the wind push against him, too. The air was alien, too; dry sweet strokes across his face and hair. He could hear nothing but the soft surge of the grasses against each other, and his own heart, beating in spite of it all.

  
_walking  
tonight beneath sirius  
i'm the world's toy  
and  
the world is mine_   


When he returned to the Athosian encampment, he saw another jumper and knew that John was there. He wondered if something was wrong in Atlantis, but realized Elizabeth or Radek would have radioed him had there been. Then he realized they must be celebrating the discovery of the ZPM.

He had been celebrating as well when he'd taken the jumper out. The city was coming to life in a way it hadn't in thousands of years. But the city could take care of itself, he was sure, and Radek was there, and the other scientists, and more than anyone else, John was there to help and guide her awakening.

He'd done what he could: he'd found the ZPM. He'd carried it like a beloved child back to the city, containing his excitement as best he could, which he knew was not very well. He thought his heart might explode with delight, but at that same moment, the happiness he experienced turned to ashes because he remembered the last time he'd been that happy. John had been walking quietly at his side on yet another alien world, sharing glances and smiles. He had looked ahead at Teyla and Ronon, and then put his hand on John's shoulder, slowing him enough that he could lean over and gently kiss him. John's smile had been more brilliant than the ZPM Rodney had discovered.

He thought he'd had a future in Atlantis; he thought he had finally found a home. But Atlantis didn't belong to him, he knew. He knew he belonged to Atlantis.

He raised his head from his memories, and across the spinning shouting crowd he saw John.

  
_there is  
a way to love  
gold light  
on boulders  
in streams_   


Rodney waited. His shoulders tense, his throat constricted, his breathing painful, he waited and watched as John worked his way through the crowd, smiling and greeting his friends and colleagues. They pounded his back, they toasted him with mugs of beer and cider, they shouted his name and Rodney's.

When John finally slipped free of the crowd and stood before Rodney, the celebratory noise faded, and it was as if it were just the two of them, alone on another world. Rodney wanted to say _Congratulations_ ; he wanted to say _We did it, Colonel_ ; he wanted to say _We saved our beautiful city_. But he could only stand beneath the stars and wait for John to speak.

Behind and above them, the trees sighed in the night breeze, and the stars of their new home gleamed overhead. Rodney was aware of it all: the trees, the stars, the crowd behind John, the reason for their joy, and the presence of John. He drew his eyes away from the world, and back to John, and finally into John's eyes. They stared at each other. Then John reached out, resting his hand on Rodney's shoulder, curling his fingers around the back of Rodney's neck, and he leaned into Rodney, and they kissed.

  
_strangers can love  
better than lovers  
sometimes  
but we don't  
argue as well_   


  


**Author's Note:**

> All poems by Lee Perron. Beta by the [Princessofg](http://princessofg.livejournal.com). Thanks to [Iolanthe-Rosa](http://iolanthe-rosa.livejournal.com), who introduced me to Lee Perron's poetry. Inspired by and written for dear [Lady of Asheru](http://lady-of-asheru.livejournal.com).


End file.
